sad face.

Gahhhhhhhhhhh. I know my blog seems like I'm such a negative nance, and I kinda am. And I hate that about myself. I wish I could just be happy, like genuinely happy. But for some reason I can't. This is really getting hard on my relationship with my fiance because I don't feel like I am acting like I should. I feel like I'm acting like an old hag. I just really hate that I have to struggle with this and I wish it was as easy to just say "it's done" and it actually be done. But that's not reality. It's something that is really hard to deal with and I'm not sure what I'm going to do because I don't know how to deal with it. It seems like nobody has even noticed either. Which makes me feel worse about it all because it makes me feel like I'm not important. I just wish someone would do something. I olbvi need it. :(